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Countless Times

by Diane Cluck

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about

“"Countless Times" was recorded in an empty apartment by the Williamsburg waterfront in the summer of 2005. Dave Sitek from TV On The Radio loaned me the space, a four-track cassette recorder and also an antique pump organ which appears on track 10. Gerard Smith ( a gifted musician, now deceased ) from TV On The Radio loaned me a beautiful nylon string guitar which I played on the album's final track. Plenty of trucks rumble by on Kent Avenue and are audible in some of the recordings.

The songs were developed over the course of a long tour with Herman Dune. I recorded them soon after the tour ended, in a state of physical and emotional depletion. It was a time during which two of my close personal relationships were ending. My relationship to New York City as a supportive homebase was also dying out. I still feel good about “Countless Times” as a collection of songs, though I haven't felt these recordings support them as best they could. New life has been breathed into many of the songs by playing them with others, especially drummer Anders Griffen.

The album was released on cd by Brooklyn-based label, Voodoo-Eros, run by friends Militia Shimkovitz and Bianca Casady. (www.dianecluck.info/ordering/?item=4) The label is mostly dormant now, but hosted local wonders Metallic Falcons, Nomi, Bunny Rabbit and Quinn Walker.”

--Diane

credits

released November 7, 2005

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Track Name: how long ?
oh, for many--how you say ?...
( words are getting in the way )
years--that's it ! i still decide
i want to carry on

oh, for now, all i see--
i walk & carry parts of me
as parts of me crawl on beside--
i want to carry on

how long ?
how long ?
how long ?
how long ?

how long...
how long ?
how long...
how long ?

and i see now
how long
and i see now
how long
Track Name: mundane & its mystery
sucked into the mundane & its mystery
sixteen-petalled flowered upholstery
where've i been ?
well, i've been here for hours
bleeding into patterns of flowers...

( quietly the night comes marching in to greet them )

when those seams open up
go in, go !
yellow, wide, open up
go in, go
shades of honey bees
black and golden yellow
sway like honey bees
black & golden yellow

yellow, yellow...
Track Name: sylvania
i grew up in sylvania;
there aren't so many woods now
how dare he lay his name upon that tract of land ?
tho natives got on cool there
they felt no need to rule there
who really gives a shit about some William Penn ?

own your own sylvania homestead
if that be your belief
you can claim you own it
tho you bought it from a thief
who might have been the boss awhile
he never was the chief
oh i know...

founding forefathers
i call you deadbeat dads
founding forefathers
i call you deadbeat dads
founding forefathers
i call you deadbeat dads

leave us alone
leave everyone alone
we can work it out on our own

sylvania is beautiful when the fall rolls around
there's gourds out in the fields & indian corn
( you can't eat them, though )
many half-songs sung up from the fields
remind me how it was--
amazing
amazing
amazing
amazing
Track Name: a phoenix & doves
all my delight
came out like a hock coughed up in the mornin'
saw in the light
what colors i didn't know how should i call them
saint someone said
to "die daily"--die daily implies be born daily
open my head--
a phoenix & doves fly out in the morning

out in the day, now
what bird-dogs suss me out in the field, yo
up from the ground
how i hear them snapping up at my heels, yo
hot on my head
what light makes the heat makes the fire makes the ash
oh i thought i was dead
a phoenix & doves fly out in the morning

saint someone said
to "die daily"--die daily implies be born daily
open my head
a phoenix & doves fly out
a phoenix & doves fly out
a phoenix & doves fly out
a phoenix & doves fly out
Track Name: love me if ye do
man friends & woman friends & dog friends & plant friends
love me if ye do
as i make love to you

old friends & new friends & children friends & killer friends
love me if ye do
as i make love to you

i'll harm ye not, scorn ye not, scar ye not
no matter what ye do
i'll make love to you

i'll harm ye not, scorn ye not, scar ye not
no matter what ye do
i'll make love to you

clear friends, wined friends, blind friends, sighted friends...
yes friends, no friends, because friends, why friends...

i'll harm ye not, scorn ye not, scar ye not, no
i'll harm ye not, scorn ye not, scar ye not
no matter what ye do
i'll make love to you
Track Name: just as i should be
i'm not who you think i am
i'm not so good
i'm not so bad
i'm just as i should be
so help me, dad

and standin' on the planet i came from
the only way i've ever known to come from--
witness me, mom

i'm not who you think i am
i'm not so good
i'm not so bad
i'm just as i should be
for electionless selections to funnel through me
they do me & undo me & redo me
so help me, dad

i'm standin' on the planet i came from
the only way i've ever known to come from
i'm standing in the way, not in the way
i'm standing in the way, not in the way
come
witness me, mom
Track Name: united. the way you were.
you find out you're not united
you find out you're not the way you were
when you find out you're not united
when you find out you're not the way you were--
go down.

suffer for your crimes, united
bring it back on home, the way you were
or you're out of here, united
for cheating on your own kind
the way you were--
go down

heaven in your eyes, united
heaven sweeps your mind
the way you were--oh !
heaven started out united
and heaven wants you back
the way you were
go down

you find out you're not united
you find out you're not
the way you thought you were
when you find out you're not united
bring it back on home
the way you were--
go down
Track Name: wasn't i glad !
movin' on down the road
wasn't i glad to see you
movin' on down the road
all these days...
Track Name: mystery over mind
comin' home--
there's a crossbones nailed to your door
yeah, yeah
you're the skull, at home,
on the cross bones over your door
yeah, yeah

mystery over mind
mystery over mind
mystery over mind

ohhhhhhhhhhhhh

mystery over mind
mystery over mind
mystery over mind

oh why would you want to explain away these things you find ?
why try and explain what is mystery over mind ?

mystery over mind
mystery over mind
mind
mystery over mind
mind, mind...

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh

there's a crossbones nailed to your door
yeah, yeah
when you're the skull, at home,
take those crossbones down from your door !
Track Name: my teacher died / countless times
oh, my teacher died !
am i a student now ???
of whom i cannot tell...
oh no, i cannot tell...

( down on me
countless times
countless times
countless times...

there's a lump at the back of yr neck
in a knot at the top of yr spine
it's what you get when you keep saying
" no no no "
but inside meaning ' yes ' all the time
luffing yes & no
you wait too long
luffing yes & no
you say " yeah, yeah, yes--no ! no ! "--
and it's gone.

( too long, luffing yes & no...
Track Name: my teacher died
oh since my teacher died
i am a student now
of whom i cannot tell
of what i cannot tell...

i read his books for years
i've gone all through them
how i wanted one last fix
but he's not writing now
oh, my teacher died
i felt sorry
but i wasn't sorry

the night we said goodbye
i felt a crumbling school
my skin was sensitized
to air that rushed in cool
oh !
my teacher's eyes
were gentle as any man's have been

there are no superstars
there is no superman
there's only everyone
i learn from whom i can
oh, my teacher died
and i felt sorry
but i wasn't sorry...

my teacher died
and i'm a student now
of whom i cannot tell
of what i cannot tell !